About the Author
Twenty one years ago, on a silent winter’s morn in Southeastern Massachusetts, a baby girl was born. Her parents looked upon their perfect child and felt a sense of awe. “How,” they wondered, “could we have created such a wonderful being? Someone so beautiful and love-able and better than sliced bread and hot soup?” As they gazed into their daughter’s eyes, a choir of heavenly angels appeared and a holy light bathed the newborn babe. Jesus Christ appeared at the door and gave her parents a high five, a low five, and then pulled his hand away and said, “Oh, too slow!” Then he said, “No, but seriously, your kid is awesome.”
Then the ghost of Abraham Lincoln came by with a fruit basket. “What are you going to name someone so seriously cool?” he asked. “I mean, she’s practically God. No, wait better than God… she’s basically Keanu Reeves.”
“Yea,” Jesus said. “Keanu Reeves is pretty freaking awesome.”
And then… wait for it, wait for it… guess who shows up? Keanu Freakin’ Reeves.
“You should totally name her Aurora or something like that,” he said.
“Aurora,” her parents said, hypnotized by Mr. Reeves’ awesomeness. “We shall call her Aurora.”
***
But seriously, folks. Aurora (who really is twenty one, really was born in the winter, and really lives in Massachusetts), likes a lot of things. What kinds of things, do you ask? Well, things like writing, drawing, computer tomfoolery, television half-assery, antiquing, hanging out with family, swimming in really cold Maine water, and going to eat hash browns at midnight after her day at the local graveyard. But there are also things Aurora doesn’t like, such as dust, cracks on the floor, ice, improperly set tables, animal cruelty, rap music, pukey shades of green, and the high price of orange juice.
For those of you who like quick labels to identify people, it might behoove you to know that Aurora is vegan and queer. For those of you who don’t know what she looks like (which wouldn’t be surprising, since she loves to change her appearance), Aurora currently has black and pink hair, wears fab J Lo glasses, has thirteen piercings and is tall with big feet. For those of you who think that one’s tastes in music, movies, and television define a person, you might want to know that she loves the following: Depeche Mode, Alanis Morisette, Lady GaGa, ABBA, Green Day, Duran Duran, and Garbage; The Labyrinth, Repo! The Genetic Opera, Dogma, Sleeping Beauty, and 1934′s The Scarlet Pimpernel; South Park, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog. And for those of you who dislike third person narratives or long personal descriptions, then it sucks to be you and you probably shouldn’t have continued reading to this point.
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