So, I ran into one of my ex’s at Wal Mart today (he apparantly now works there) – let’s call him O. My dad saw him and started trying to get his attention. I was absolutely mortified and told him to stop. It floored me that my dad would try to get the attention of my ex boyfriend – granted, we dated in middle school, but still! – and when he asked me why (“Oh, but he’s such a nice guy, I always liked him, why won’t you talk to him?”) I told my father that he had gotten “sketchy”.
“Well, no more sketchy than P is, right?”
I was furious.
Let me explain: P and were friends in middle school and high school. She is O’s sister. We met when I was 14 and she was 13. When I met her, she was presenting as male – she hadn’t realized she was a transwoman yet (or at least, she hadn’t told me). After she had made the transition, we spent most of our time together at her place because her parents were OK with the transition and mine were not. Even though she would come to the house with long hair and in skirts and heels, my parents (particularly my father) always made a point of using male pronouns. This statement about P was clearly a jab at her and the fact that she is trans.
I then proceeded to explain to my father that no, P is NOT sketchy. Her brother IS sketchy, however, because he attempted to rape someone he went on a date with (not me, thank goodness).
My father’s response: “Yea, but he could still be a good guy, right?”
Whoa, whoa, WHOA. So because someone is GLBTQ, they are automatically sketchy… but if a guy tries to violate a girl in a date rape situation, he has a chance at redemption because he’s straight?