x101 (the case for the cell phone)

There I was. Staving off a breakdown.

Or so I thought. It didn’t work. But I tried.

I could feel the stares.

“There goes the 25 year old kid. Can’t keep off her smartphone.”

That’s what I imagined them saying.

After, when it was too late, I told her the truth.

I told her the dirty word

bipolar

And explained to her that was why I was on my phone.

“Oh!” she said.

As though she understood.

As though that was a good enough reason to be on my phone.

Frantically searching for warm lines

Sending out texts to loved ones

Asking for support.

Trying to distract myself

Distance myself

From the onslaught.

Or so I thought. It didn’t work. But I tried.

“There goes the 25 year old kid. Can’t keep off her smartphone.”

I tried.

 

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