x113 (inconvenience)

Isn’t it sad, that I, the survivor, am the one worrying about “inconveniencing” people?

I don’t want to sleep in the house where it happened because it’s triggering.

But I won’t say anything because I don’t want to “inconvenience” the owners of the house who want me to visit.

I want to avoid the person I suspect, because it’s painful to be around them, wondering.

But I show up to the party anyway because I don’t want to “inconvenience” my friends and family.

I want to take his advice, and be selfish, ask questions, and not worry about other people’s responses.

But I don’t. Because I don’t want to “inconvenience” anyone. I don’t want to bring up painful memories, or get people angry, or spread rumors, or make accusations.

I just want to know.

I just want peace.

I just want to stop being an inconvenience.

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