x159 (clubhouse part two: a hiatus)

Hiatus

Image by Clogwog, used with Creative Commons License

When I first agreed to attend the clubhouse, I anticipated coming once a week or even every other week. That way I could still primarily be a homemaker and keep things running smoothly on the home front. However, at my intake, I was told that in order to accomplish the goals my therapist had set (attaining employment, attaining a driver’s license, and socialization opportunities) I needed to attend three times a week. And because the morning meeting is at 9:15, this means getting up at six o’clock three times a week and starting to split the housework with my fiancee. This is a huge change for me and I’m nervous about it. Actually being at the clubhouse isn’t terribly stressful (from what I’m able to gather thus far), but getting up early and not working in the home as much is. Part of me feels angry that in order to get the help I need with my social anxiety and PTSD, I’m expected to follow a prescribed set of rules that I’m not particularly interested in. When I first met my fiancee, we agreed that I would be at home with the children because neither of us wanted our kids in daycare or being taken care of by a nanny. Because I was on disability and not working when we met, instead of transitioning from a working newlywed to a stay at home mom, I immediately embraced the role of a housewife and homemaker. Now it appears that I need to seek employment and education in order to transition from being a disabled person who can’t work to being a disabled person who is not reliant on government assistance.

While I’m adjusting to this new season of life, I will be taking a hiatus from blogging. I will be taking a break for at least the month of October; potentially longer. In addition to this, I’m planning on creating a second blog focused more on homemaking and religion and having this blog focus exclusively on mental health.

To wrap things up for the next month, I’m going to briefly go over what goals I did and didn’t accomplish in the month of September. I did meet with the podiatrist, and as it turns out I didn’t need any inserts – since I was not experiencing pain, the doctor didn’t consider it an issue that my feet pronate. My weight loss goals are on track – I’ve lost almost ten pounds since I started, and I’ve got about twenty five to go. I successfully completed the Make Over Your Mornings eCourse and managed to get up at 8:30 for twenty one days in a row, although now with clubhouse attendance I’ll have to adjust that schedule even further. I didn’t manage to put any money into savings or schedule the “framily” reunion, but (in case you couldn’t tell) I did manage to get into the clubhouse, which is something I’ve been trying to do for a few months now. This is a pretty big change for me and while I’m bitter at the reason why I have to attend and the fact that I can’t simply be a homemaker, part of me is excited about what this new season of life will bring.

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